The Death of Enthusiasm

Sometime during the mid-to-late nineties there descended a strange and repulsive custom among the children and teenagers of northern Utah (and probably the entire world as far as I know). I am of course, talking about dipping Wendy’s French fries into Wendy’s chocolate Frosty desserts.

I mean, really people, this is totally disgusting right? Am I the only one that can recognize this? I know I’m not professor emeritus of Food University over here or anything, but I think that even a toddler could recognize that salted fried vegetables do not combine with frozen chocolate flavored dairy in a pleasing manner.

I feel like Walter Sobchak in the Big Lebowski when he pulls out his gun at the bowling alley and bellows, “HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE MAD?!” only I don’t have a gun and I don’t actually say that phrase out loud, I just think it really intensely. I just can’t believe that when I call out the ridiculousness of dipping your French fries in chocolate ice cream I am met with a chorus of “Oh, but it’s so good! Seriously! You just have to try it!” If we go with this same line of food logic, this list of food combinations should totally be OMG amazing and we should starting eating these right away despite the fact that they are equally disgusting and ridiculous as the Frosty/French fry combo:

1. Drinking a tall glass of pomegranate juice through a hollowed out Slim Jim

2. An entire pineapple filled with garlic infused mashed potatoes and gravy

3. Topping your bowl of peaches and cream with barbeque sauce and sautéed onions

4. Waffles served under a thick layer of Dinty Moore beef stew and cucumber slices

These are like, so delicious you guyz! I mean, I know they sound weird but you just gotta try it!

So, despite the fact that I know that dipping fries into Frost(ies?) is totally gross and I shouldn’t have to try it because, hey I’m a 26-year-old man and I can use my higher cognitive functions to realize this, I decided to go to Wendy’s to see for myself. I went to a Wendy’s restaurant near my house on a Tuesday night and ordered a small French fry and small Frosty dessert.




First impression: Well, it tastes like a French fry with runny chocolate shake all over it. It’s not actively making me wretch or anything, but it doesn’t exactly taste good.

Next three fries: If these fries were slightly less salty I could imagine that I’m dipping something else into the Frosty, but they aren’t. Sorry, I can’t control the salinity of French fries, but I can play the banjo; to each his own.

Last 3 fries: I can’t believe I’ve eaten almost all the fries. I think I’m just trying to suck off the Frosty and swallow it and then eat the fry so the flavors don’t mix as much in my mouth.

Final Verdict: Sorry Frosty Fry people, it’s still gross and I tried it with an open mind. But, see, I already knew it would be gross, because of DUH. So I win, and it’s because of SCIENCE, IN A LAB. You cannot dispute the results of my scientific taste test.

Labels: food