The Death of Enthusiasm

Me: So Karl, What do you think about the health care bill that passed the house and squeaked by the senate on Christmas eve?

KM: KARL MALONE DOND NEEDS NO HEALF CARE. KARL MALONE STILL HAS GOT SIX-PACK ABS. KARL MALONE’S SUPER AB WORKOUT VIDEOS DOND LIE.

Me: OK, I get that you might not need health care because you’re super wealthy, but don’t you think something needs to be done? The number of uninsured Americans is growing every year, and our current system is clearly at the mercy of unscrupulous and/or wrongheaded healthcare industry lobbyists.

KM: KARL MALONE OWN MANY BUSINESSES, AN HE TAKE CARE OF HIS WORKERS WIF FREE WORKOUT VIDEOS. THAT WAY, THEY GOT SIX-PACK ABS TOO. THE GOVEMENT CAND GIVE EVRYONE HEALF CARE WHO WAN IT. THAT CALLED COMMIENISM.

Me: Actually, universal health care would be no more socialist than half the government programs that we’ve had in place for decades like social security, our current tax code, or our education system (where the government uses taxes to provide a universal education for all citizens). All this socialism hysteria is just conservative fear mongers trying to rile people up. The real question is, can we provide adequate care without putting too much of a strain on the already fragile economy? How do we decide what needs to be done to keep the economic recovery going, and what can be spent to fix our healthcare system?

KM: YOU RIGHT CHASE, THE ECONMY IS PURDY BAD RIGHT NOW. KARL MALONE CAIND SELL AS MANY WOROUT VIDEOS AS HE USED TO. OBAMA DOND CARE ABOUT KARL MALONE PEOPEL.

Me: Well, I think Obama really cares about those working poor who can’t just “pull themselves up by their bootstraps,” to use a favorite phrase of the right wing. The good part of the current proposal is that it would do the following:

* forces the uninsured to obtain insurance.
* forces insurers to accept those with preexisting conditions.
* will reduce Medicare spending, purportedly by cuts, of about 500 billion dollars.

Maybe a plan closer to the now defunct Healthy Americans Act sponsored by Bob Bennett and Ron Wyden would have been better, but at this point we have to wait for the discrepancies to be hammered out between the house and senate versions to see what it actually looks like.

Of course when Bennett cooperated with one of his fellow senators for the good of the country, his own party turned on him and aired attack ads here in Utah blasting him for “working with a liberal Democrat.” Great job Republicans, you’re right! What we need is more partisan bickering so nothing ever gets done. How DARE a senator try to sponsor a bill with a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT! What’s next, LIBERAL DEMOCRATS serving on congressional committees along with CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS? People of differing viewpoints coming together to create a satisfactory compromise? Black is white, up is down! What has the world come to?!

KM: KARL MALONE DOND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SAID. HOWEVR, KARL WOULD LIKE TO INVITE EVRYONE OUT TO THE GRAN OPENING OF KARL MALONE’S WORKOUT VIDEO STORE. ALL KARL MALONE VIDOES ARE ON SALE FOR ONLY TWENTY DOLLARS EACH.

Me: Thanks for talking with me Karl, it was a very interesting conversation.

KM: NO, THE THANKS IS TO YOU CHASE. AND KARL MALONE SORRY ABOUT TOTALLY CHOKING IN THE ’97 FINALS.

Me: Apology not accepted, Karl.

Labels: Karl Malone, politics