July 1, 2008
WHY?
In this decade it's become something of a cliche to make jokes about "googling yourself." Probably most everyone has done it, and most people can actually find some information about themselves on the Internet. Hopefully it's good things, like you won a ribbon at the County Fair and not because you're a registered sex offender.
I have kept the results of my own self-googling a secret these last few years. You are about to find out why.
If you Google "Chase Thompson" you will come up with some harmless links like this one, which is just a financial firm. You will also see a lot of links for a musician named Chase Thompson who kind of is a cross between Creed (vaguely Christian but wouldn't admit it), Coldplay, and Michael Bolton. Here is an example:
He's not really my favorite Chase Thompson, but pretty harmless.
You will find some random homepages of guys named "Chase Thompson" like a weatherman, or some marketing guys, and various frat members and college athletes. If you Google "Chase Thompson" + "Statesman" (as I know so many of you have done) you can find some of my old music reviews.
Up to this point though we have been ignoring the massive, disgusting, and foul smelling elephant in the room. What is the number one search result for "Chase Thompson?"
THIS:
AND THIS:
AND THIS:
AND THIS:
WHY?????? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?? HAVE YE NO MERCY, THOU FOUL GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE??
It turns out that there is a group of females that actively try to dress as males--think of it as the opposite of traditional cross-dressers. One of them has named his/herself Chase Thompson. He/she is dedicated to advancing the "art of male illusion" and has held several titles such as: "Sir Heads or Tails" and "Mr. Gay."
As you can imagine, I was disgusted and deeply dismayed with this development. Then I was even more deeply dismayed and disgusted when I visited www.chasethompson.org to see for myself how incredibly creepy my own name had become.
The truth comes out. A drag-king has named his/herself after me.
Moral of the story: The internet hates me.
I have kept the results of my own self-googling a secret these last few years. You are about to find out why.
If you Google "Chase Thompson" you will come up with some harmless links like this one, which is just a financial firm. You will also see a lot of links for a musician named Chase Thompson who kind of is a cross between Creed (vaguely Christian but wouldn't admit it), Coldplay, and Michael Bolton. Here is an example:
He's not really my favorite Chase Thompson, but pretty harmless.
You will find some random homepages of guys named "Chase Thompson" like a weatherman, or some marketing guys, and various frat members and college athletes. If you Google "Chase Thompson" + "Statesman" (as I know so many of you have done) you can find some of my old music reviews.
Up to this point though we have been ignoring the massive, disgusting, and foul smelling elephant in the room. What is the number one search result for "Chase Thompson?"
THIS:
AND THIS:
AND THIS:
AND THIS:
WHY?????? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?? HAVE YE NO MERCY, THOU FOUL GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE??
It turns out that there is a group of females that actively try to dress as males--think of it as the opposite of traditional cross-dressers. One of them has named his/herself Chase Thompson. He/she is dedicated to advancing the "art of male illusion" and has held several titles such as: "Sir Heads or Tails" and "Mr. Gay."
As you can imagine, I was disgusted and deeply dismayed with this development. Then I was even more deeply dismayed and disgusted when I visited www.chasethompson.org to see for myself how incredibly creepy my own name had become.
The truth comes out. A drag-king has named his/herself after me.
Moral of the story: The internet hates me.
Labels: drag-kings, random
# posted by McDirty @ Tuesday, July 01, 2008 
Comments:
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wow you are being attacked by not only girls that think your that insinc queer but now google with their own shenanigans I think its saf to say the word is thring to destroy your self esteem
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Yes, it may be the massive amounts of oxycodone, morphine and leftover anesthesia in my system, or the fact that it's 3 in the morning but that was still funny.
My claim to fame is when you google my name all but one hit are actually for me. And when you google image me, there is not one picture of me but 29 of my niece.
Also...sorry that your cross-dressing secret is out. That is really embarrassing.
Also...sorry that your cross-dressing secret is out. That is really embarrassing.
Chase...long time no see. You really take the cake with chasethompson.org. I always thought it was bad that my googling my name brings up a case of a guy named Alec Cannon Miles who was charged with sexual abuse (he was a janitor or something). Also, did you ever dial 1-800-your phone number when you were little? I think that was the "self-googling" of ten years ago. My number was a a sex line for guys looking for "hot, horny willing women..." You probably called it. Peace.
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# posted by 
: July 28, 2008 at 6:17 PM
: July 28, 2008 at 6:17 PM Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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