The Death of Enthusiasm

Dear Longboarder Girl,

I am so glad you decided to ride your incredibly hip wheeled behemoth to school today. I know that the mere fact the you, as a girl, are making a brave statement to the world with your longboard riding. Now girls can do stuff, I hear. Good for you.

I have only one small suggestion for you. Please learn how to accurately steer and balance on your board, all while moving if possible.

All right, two suggestions. Don't talk on your cell phone while "riding" (if this is what you call it) your longboard. I bet Kevin was dying to hear what Ashley wrote on your facebook page, but it can probably wait until you are done passing dangerously close to a large group of pedestrians.

At this point I better say that I do regret that you lost balance (shock!) and fell backwards off your longboard, launching it at a high speed directly into the crowd of pedestrians. I bet that scrape on your knee hurts. But what would have hurt more is if the pointed tip of your longboard had impacted my Achilles tendon, instantly snapping it in two.

I think we can both agree that it was a good thing that I jumped out of the way in the nick of time.

Feel better, and I hope I never see you again.

Your friend,

Chase