September 19, 2007

 

Lowly NPR Listener Am I


"Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."-George Washington



I guess most of you know that I am one of "those guys" who study political science. It's not my major (gracias a dios!) but I do take a lot of classes since it is my minor now. I often find myself thinking about the situation our country is in, and it makes me feel like I'm going to die.

We are now right in the middle of the election process for 2008, and since I am not and adherent to any particular party, the sheer uselessness of the whole thing makes me sick. If you believe in Elite Theory as many political scientists do, elections are nothing more than elaborate spectacles designed to trick the unprivileged masses into thinking they have some measure of control over their government.

I like to think of individual candidates like consumer products. Some people like sugary cereals(Obama) and some like grape nuts(McCain). The problem is, you can't just go into the supermarket and pick up one item. No sir, you either have to go to the Republican supermarket or the Democratic Supermarket. (BEGIN EXTENDED METAPHOR..)

The Republican Supermarket looks a lot like Wal-Mart and has good low prices and Christian themed calendars near the checkout. But, there isn't a very big selection and all the products look like they are tailored towards white males. There is no ethnic food section, and hardly any soul food (and most people consider the soul food they do have, called "Clarence Thomas" not really soul food anyways). Poor single mothers don't like to shop here since they tend to get ignored by the staff. Also, at irrational times the manager of the supermarket likes to launch poorly planned offensive military strikes.

On the other hand, the Democratic Supermarket looks kind of like Wild Oats, and you will likely see a few mountain bikes parked outside. The Democratic Supermarket is proud of it's wide selection of products and ethnic foods. They make sure the poor single mothers are helped first and are likely to feel an enormous amount of liberal guilt if this does not happen. Unfortunately, all the produce is organic, and as such is completely filled with worms and bugs. Also, the checkout line is extremely slow and the prices are much, much higher than the Republican Supermarket.

Wouldn't it be great if you could pick a few items from each store? Sorry, you have to pick one store and ALWAYS shop there. (At least as far a presidential elections are concerned. Sorry, it's called the electoral college.)

I really wish there was some sort of political "string theory" that could combine all the various theories floating around that attempt to explain political activity. (These such as the afore-mentioned Elite Theory are all depressing and usually determine that the average voter has no sway whatsoever in key policies.)

I guess until then I'll have to be one of those people who wanted to make a difference, only to see the curtain lifted and then be crushed by the reality that we can't really make any difference at all. So, here's to voting for the lesser of two evils!

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Comments:
I think the answer to all our problems is Target. Have you shopped there lately? I bought dirt cheap mayonaise for egg salad sandwiches and fresh basil for bruschetta in the same trip.
 
Yo, F*** McKinley.
 
I just thought of that because of the button picture.
 
Exactly why we need proportional representation. Which is what shopping at like 8 different stores would be.
 
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